Bear!

...or:  

A Typical Phonics Class with the Bad Cute Kids

Me: (holding up the flashcard with A) Hmm, what's this?

El Diablo: (slinks under the table)

The Barbarian: (glares hard at the flashcard, maybe waiting in case it jumps)

The Howler: (sneaks a hand towards El Diablo to initiate unauthorized playtime)

The Princess: (stares blankly ahead with eyes half-closed and mouth half-open)

Ms. Mischief: A!

Me: Big or small A?

Ms. Mischief: Big Nay!

Me: Good job!  What's this?  (holding up small a)

Ms. Mischief: Mm...

The Barbarian: Bear!

Me: No.

The Howler: (in Korean) My mom is coming later!

Me: It's small a!

Ms. Mischief and the Barbarian: Small a!

El Diablo: (starts singing a random Korean song)

The Princess: (still staring blankly with her mouth open, not blinking)

Me: A is for...  (shows the apple flashcard)

The Barbarian: Bear!

Ms. Mischief: Uh...

El Diablo: (climbing up from under the table) Apple!

Me: Good job!  (showing the big B flashcard)  Now what's this?

The Barbarian and Ms. Mischief: Big B!

Me:  Good job!

El Diablo: (after hearing others being praised)  Big B!

Me: (showing small b flashcard) What's this?

The Barbarian: Bear!

Me: No!

Ms. Mischief: B!

Me: Big or small B?

The Barbarian: Big small B!

The Princess: (status unchanged since start of class)

The Howler: (in Korean) My mom (blah blah unintelligible-even-to-my-Korean-co-teacher-stuff) later!

Me: What's this?  (still showing the small b flashcard)

Ms. Mischief: B!

The Barbarian: (frantically) Uhh~~~BIG SMALL B!!!

Me: (knocking on the table to wake the Princess up from her stupor)  Small b!

The Princess: (very startled)  Small b!  (then, realizing she was the first to answer correctly, smiles very, very smugly at the others, announcing in Korean) Everyone, I answered first!  Did you hear?  I answered first!  (continues saying this over and over again in Korean while I ask new questions and the other students just ignore her)

El Diablo: (slinks under the table again)

Me: What is B for?  B is for...

Ms. Mischief: Apple!

Me: No!  A is for apple.  B is for...

The Barbarian: (sunshine practically exploding from her face)  BEAR!!!

The Slurping Ventriloquist

Yesterday I was minding my own business, eating lunch with the Bad Cute Kids, when suddenly this bizarre sound erupted in the classroom.  It was the sound you'd expect to hear if you blew on your arm to imitate a fart noise.  It was too loud and strange to be real, I was sure, so I looked around for the fart ventriloquist.  Lo and behold it wasn't someone doing fart imitations at all - it was the Barbarian finishing off her soup with a stronger-than-a-black-hole SLURRRRRP!

El Diablo Thinks He's Finished

I teach my kindergarten students for two forty-minute periods and give them breaks before, after, and between said periods.  During this time they can drink water, go to the bathroom, or go select a present if they've been awarded enough stickers to exchange for one.

The other day I was helping some of the Bad Cute Kids line up for water when El Diablo staggered down the hall towards the lobby area with his pants around his knees, tugging his underwear up.

"Hey!" I said, calling his name.  "Go do that in the bathroom!"

He just tugged on his underwear more and said, "I finished!"  Then his pants fell down the rest of the way.

I pointed back the hall and tried not to laugh.  "You are definitely not finished!"